WHEN GOOD MEN DIE

Death is one thing we unwillingly think and talk about. Although we all know that someday we are going to die this certainty does not pat our hearts, giving much meaning with the things of this world, such as money, possessions, reputation, fame and power and all the good things that appease our consciousness . . . as if we are going to live forever.

Only this month two people close to me passed away. Pilo Abrugena and Meng De Dios. It was a bolt of lightning from the blue sky upon learning the deaths of these two good men. I was asking myself why good people die so sudden where a lot of bad ones out there can die in place of them. The words may sound unfair . . . Am I God who can tell which individual I want life to end first?

I faced a stressful legal suit against my hard as nail employer, when I was illegally dismissed after a quarrel over some bitter pills to swallow. During this time I was left high and dry by my officemates for fear that they might got involved. Pilo was beck and call for me by providing me someone who can defend and fight for my labor rights and later on won the case. I wouldn’t be able to grasp the nettle if not for him. Pilo was a happy man, a good father, someone who knocks all your worries down with his one man comical show. He called himself “Gagambang Lalaki” which in my personal interpretation is synonymous to “Magandang Lalaki” (until now I am contemplating what he really meant with this words). He was always willing to give, to listen and ready to throw a line to all he knew. After this depressing part of my life, Pilo helped me to go back in the drawing board again. He died of cardiac arrest.

Three days after I attended Pilo’s wake I received a text message from Menchie de Dios, my co-artist for 10 long years and one of the few people I can bear my heart out. The message went like this: “ Kuya . . . si Meng comatose na.” For a moment my feet seemed to sink where I stood I could only grip my phone harder as I read the message over and over again. I felt remorseful not to be able to see her husband Meng during his long confinement in the hospital, the least I could do then was to send comforting messages that will boost her morale and cheer her up. That night I called Menchie up. The conversation was gloomy marked with hopelessness and low-spiritless. She was blubbing while talking and asking many questions which I myself don’t know the answers. I just told her to just cling to hope although in my mind the situation was chance against chance the fact that Meng was brain dead. It was past 2 a.m. when we ended the phone chat. 7 hours later someone informed me that Meng was clinically dead. After learning the sad news there was dead air for a moment, I felt sorry for one of my dearest friends who lost her most precious possession. Just like Pilo, Meng too died of heart failure. Meng was a good husband who looked always after the sake of his wife. I have seen how he coddled Menchie. He drove her to the office and fetched her up after work as if he was one of the employees of the company. He was generous and soft hearted. A good provider and a person neat as a pin. He would be an ideal father if he was just given a chance to be . Although they were not able to have kids, he acted as a father figure the same way Menchie acted as a mother with children around them. He was meek and unpretentious and a God fearing man .
I have a bleeding heart with the demise of these two good men, but in my mind I know their good deeds have prepared them to their journey’s ends to meet their Maker.

Money, happiness and other desirable things are often here today, gone tomorrow. To most of us they are dominant significance, so we dedicate almost all our time and momentum to get hold of them and engross ourselves in many negative exploits for their sake. We are so concerned with the worries of this life that there is only tiny space in our mind for real spiritual living. When the time of passing actually comes we find out and realize that by having paid no attention to death all our life we are totally unready.

Salamat Pilo. . . salamat Meng sa lahat ng kabutihang ginawa at ipinakita nyo nuong kayo ay mga nabubuhay pa. . . You breathe your lasts but all your goodness will not perish . . . but will live though you are gone. . .

The righteous shall go into life eternal.
Matthew 25:46

SI TATAY BEBANG AT ANG BUTAS

Isa sa mga katangian ng aking tatay na hindi ko makakalimutan ay ang kanyang “sense of humor”. Kahit sa kahuli-hulihang sandali bago siya namatay ay nagawa nya pang magbiro sa mga nurse na nuon ay nag aasikaso sa kanya sa hospital. Marahil, ito rin ang isa sa mga katangiang namana ko sa kanya. Ang pagiging palabiro. Kadalasan nagugustuhan ako ng tao dahil sa aking sense of humor. Ayon sa kanila nakakatawa raw ako at masayang kasama katulad din ng mga sinabi ng mga tao tungkol sa tatay ko nuong siya ay nabubuhay pa. Maraming jokes si tatay pero may isang joke siya na tumanim sa aking isipan at hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko makalimutan. Bagaman isang biro lamang, sa pagdaan ng panahon ay unti-unti kong naisip na may katuturan at katotohanan. Ito noon ang narinig ko na sinabi niya sa kanyang kaibigan habang sila’y masayang nag-uusap sa bahay “ Pare, ikaw ay galing sa butas at nabubuhay sa butas “ at sabay naghagalpakan sila ng tawa. Kung sasabihin mo sa isang paslit na kagaya ko nuon, hindi nga maiintidihan o maaring nakakatawa lang para sa kanila. Paano nga naman mangyayari iyon ? E alam ng mga bata na silay nagmula sa sinapupunan ng kanilang mga ina. Sa isang banda kung iisipin mo, may kalaswaan ang dating kung ito ay hahaluan mo ng malisya. Pero kung iisipin mong mabuti at lalaliman ang pag-aanalisa ay may katotohanan at katuturan. Ipapaliwanag ko. . .

Sa ating katawan ay may tinatawag tayo sa wikang Ingles na body orifice . Ito ay isang bukana o butas o bukas na bahagi ng isang tao. Ito marahil ang mga butas na tinutukoy ni tatay kung bakit tayo nabubuhay. Hindi nga naman tayo makahihinga kung walang butas ang ating mga ilong . Bukod sa paghinga, ang ilong ay ginagamit din natin sa mga bagay na may kinalaman sa ating pang-amoy. Hindi ba napakahirap kung ikaw may sipon at barado ang mga butas ng iyong ilong? Buti na lang to the rescue ang mga bibig na kaagapay ng ilong kung siya ay barado at di makalanghap at makapagbuga ng hangin para sa ating katawan. Bukod sa paghinga, gingamit din nating ang ating mga bibig sa pagsasalita , pagtawa at pagngiti, pagkain at pag-inom. Ang lahat ng ipinapasok sa bibig ay tumutuloy sa ating mga bituka papunta sa tiyan at nilalabas sa butas ng ating mga puwit o mga ari sa pamamagitan ng pag-ihi o pagdumi. Kadalasan gingawa natin ang pagbabawas sa butas ng inodoro, butas ng arinola o sa isang butas na hinukay lang sa lupa kung wala ang dalawang nauna (hehehe). Napakalungkot at walang kulay siguro ang buhay kung tayo nga ay may mga mata at walang namang butas ang mga ito. Hindi natin makikita ang bawat isa at tayo mababalot ng kadiliman. At paano natin mariririnig ang magagandang musika, o halakhak ng mga batang naglalaro o ng ibat-ibang tunog at ingay kung hindi dahil sa butas ng ating mga tenga? Napakatahmik at napakalungkot siguro ng mundo. Magpapatuloy kaya ang buhay kung walang butas? Siguro alam nyo na ang iniisip ko. Seryosong tanong lang po at wag lagyan ng malisya. Huwag na nating masyadong ipaliwanag at alam ko naming alam nyo kung paano tayo nabuo. Ito marahil ang ibig ipakahulugan ni tatay na tayo ay nagmula sa butas. Ang maliit na butas ng pagkalalaki(urethra) ay gingamit sa pag-ihi, paglabas ng semilya (ejaculation) sa oras ng pagtatalik. Ang butas naman ng pagkababae (urethra at vagina)bukod sa pag-ihi at pagtatalik ay gingamit din sa “menstruation” at pagluluwal ng sanggol. At kung lumabas na si baby, paano na lang kaya mapakakain at mapalalaki sila kung walang butas ang mga suso ni mommy?(O ng tsupon?)

Hindi lang naman sa tao may pakinabang ang butas. Maging sa lahat ng uri ng hayop, halaman at halos lahat ng nilalang na may buhay . Isipin mo na lang , kung walang mga “stomata” ang dahon ng mga halaman, makapagbibigay kaya ito ng oxygen sa atin at malilinis kaya ang carbon dioxide na inilalabas natin sa ating paghinga? Malalason tayo at masusufocate hindi ba? Lumingon nga tayo sa ating paligid. Alin-alin ba ang makikita nating walang butas? Maaring mayroon pero nakakasigurado ako na ang karamihan na makikita mo ay mayroong butas. Paano na lang kung walang butas ang ating mga kabahayan? Makapapasok at makalalabas kaya tayo dito? Ang mga sasakyan at mga gulong? Uusad kaya ang mga ito patungo sa ating paroroonan? Ang mga gamit, appliances, electronics, musical instruments, ang mga damit at sapatos na isinusuot natin, ang computers at cd’s? Mapapakinabangan kaya natin ang mga ito? Ang mga sisidlan tulad ng bote, garapon, plastic bag o kahon? Ano ang saysay ng mga ito kung walang mga butas? Kadalasan pa nga inaakala natin na perwisyo, problema o trahedya ang butas. Katulad na lang kung nabutas ang bubong natin, butas na mga lansangan, butas na tangke ng tubig o na-flat ang gulong ng ating sasakyan dahil nabutas ito. Ang pagsabog ng mga bulkan at pagbuga ng abo at lahar buhat sa bunganga nito? Pero kung iisipin mo ang butas ay may hatid na biyaya at pakinabang din sa mga taong gagawa o gagamit ng mga bagay na inilalabas nito. Ito ay nagbibigay kabuhayan at bagong pag-asa sa kanila lalung-lao na sa mga mahihirap at naghihikahos. Ngayon ay nasagot ko na ang palaisipan sa biro ni tatay (oo nga pala Apolinar ang tunay na pangalan ni tatay, “Pang” “kung siya ay tawagin ng mga kaibigan. Siguro nagtataka ka kung bakit “Bebang” ang ginamit ko sa pamagat ano?,Sasagutin ko kung itatanong mo.) dahil ganap na ang aking kaisipan. Nalaman, napag-isipan at nabigyan ng katuturan dahil katotohanan na marami sa atin ang hindi nakakapag-isip o nagbibigay ng pansin sa kahalagahan ng butas. Huwag nating maliitin ang butas malaki man o kakarampot sapagkat sa isang abang butas maaring maglagos ang liwanag upang magbigay ng tanglaw sa ating buhay at kasagutan sa ating mga suliranin at katanungan. Kung tayo man ay nagmula sa butas, siguradong dito rin tayo magwawakas . Kapag tayo ay mga nangamatay, ilibing man o sunugin upang maging abo , butas ang huli nating hantungan at himlayan .Kaya lagi tayong maging mabuti at gumawa ng tama sa ating kapwa. Ang butas ay isa lamang biyaya na dapat pasalamatan, nagmula sa Kanya na Siyang tunay na may likha ng ating mga buhay.

ANGER VS. UNDERSTANDING

Last Thursday, July 17, I received a message. It was actually a reply to my e-mail and the sender was enraged against me. I was dumbfounded when I read the message and the first thing I did is go over my sent messages to see if I have written something that burst someone’s bubble. I did not see anything, the fact that our conversation was not of quarrelsome issue but was rather a seek- help- support tête-à-tête regarding an approaching project. I just thought I was slapdash with my writing and I realized people are different in comprehension and it is a natural feedback for someone to react on something he feels to be wrong. But with all honesty my reply meant not to cause offense to anybody nor do I have any intention to insult or explode somebody’s feeling. I always make it a point to rather keep unspoken or not write something to anyone because I am scared that I may utter something I will regret afterward. I believe in the old Chinese proverb that never write a letter when you are angry.

Jesus Christ also got angry when He squeezed out His outburst in the temple. But His anger was more of a “righteous indignation”. Although everybody knows that anger is a sin it is an innate behavior of human being to get indignant. We rage at different intensities and anybody can become mad. It’s no hard, but to be angry without basis and justifications, that is not within everybody’s control. That is not easy. When anger escalates reflect on its aftereffects. It’s like grabbing a hot coal with the intent of tossing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned or booting a stone harming your own foot. When I was still in my corporate life, when my daily routine involves the everyday toil of pressures , anxieties and squabbles with workmates and bosses I used to be angry almost everyday. I have learned through bitter experience that sometimes anger should be delayed in almost every possible way and situation to uphold relationship and friendship and let understanding sets in to takes its own course. I thought I was certain I understand what I thought somebody said, but I realized that what I heard is not what essentially what they meant. Sometimes I feel I am so intelligent but every so often I get the wrong end of the stick on what people are saying. I just thought I have knowledge a lot about something and not really understand it. How many friends have I lost because of anger? How many times I made myself smaller than the things that made me angry? Of course we need sometimes to be angry especially so not to allow evil to be victorious or inequality and brutality to thrive. These things happen because many believe the world isn’t angry enough. But more than anger love and understanding can take its place to vanquish them and leads everything that hurt us to a better awareness of ourselves. Anyone can find faults, disparage, and attack anybody when he is angry but it takes understanding to take somebody’s self control. We don’t need power to let go of something. Or entombs anger to our inside and stock pile tensions for later implosion or explosion to offend ourselves or the others. What we really need is to understand. Anger destroys thing. It’s an external manifestation of pain, trepidation and disappointment and the termination of struggle for the truth. When someone is angry he talks articulately as if he makes the best oration of his life. Anger makes someone clever but it keeps him poor- poorer in happiness because for every minute we are angry we loose sixty seconds of it. It is the air which puff out the lamp of the mind, how can you think unmistakably when your knuckles are clamped and your teeth are crushing? Things will indeed seem different to us if we can only say “I am hurt” and opted to keep quiet and calm down and escape many days of sorrow rather getting angry so sudden. Understanding is the first step towards recuperation from anger. It appeases hurt and enraged feelings.

When Jesus blew up with rage that day in the temple. His indignation was up front. He reacted to the situation swiftly, optimistically, and fittingly then went on his business. His anger is right and justifiable. It’s not easy to be indignant with the right person, and to the right extent, and at the right time, and for the right intention, and in the right way just as Jesus did.

My bitter experience of anger, tantrums and poor temperament being a moody artist then urged me to explore the beautiful gift of understanding. I still get angry but I have learned to control it; and I still try to yearn not to feel it. Now I don’t easily get angry when a person gets mad at me, I always thought I can’t please everybody nor can I make a day in the sun for all. Instead, I never forget what somebody says to me when he is angry. Somehow I’ll be able to learn from it to become a better person. It made me believe that he who is slow to anger has great understanding. Anger and narrow mindedness are the enemies of it. A person who holds on to hasty mood leaves him less than he had been before while the calmness of the person on whom he wish to expel his ill temper conquers him… Sometimes you become great when a person misunderstood you. The most splendid pleasure is the joy of understanding . . .

GOD SOMETIMES ANSWERS US IN QUESTIONS

I’ve been trying to write a new blog for several nights now but it seemed nothing really emanates a good topic from my mind to jot down. The last time I published a blog was almost 3 weeks ago. I wrote this one at spur- of- the moment but with brilliance and creativity . Openly, after this last blog I was struck with some personal drawbacks and life’s questions . I simply not willing to live with questions for it leave me vulnerable . It caused my enthusiasm and energy for blogging to fall off. Last night thinking I have given fairly enough time for myself to pull through from strains and emotional angsts, I switched on the PC ready to make up something new for my readers . But no matter how I tried , my wits just doesn’t want to verbalize anything my fingers can encrypt into the keyboard to put it into writing. My mind was totally empty and torpid. I bent my head down , sealed my eyes off and slowly as I lift my head up I gaped at the wall in front of me without flickering my eyes.

I took a deep breath, turned my head and look around the walls. . . I asked myself “ How can these walls withstand the weight of this structure?” The roof, the beams , trusses, the floor, and everything?” Can it stand alone without these walls? The walls are intricately, basically attached to the foundations. The walls can sustain the weight of this structure because of these solid groundwork. For a moment I had an unfathomable contemplation . . . I felt a prick in my heart as if I was hit by a lightning from the blue sky. Why do I have to worry?. Why do I let anxieties jolt and petrify me where there is nothing I can do about it? How can I have less faith that God wont give me anything I cant handle when He evidently lay these simple signs of assurance in almost everyplace I go to ? Will I sustain the weight of my problems, my adversities and my tribulations if I will not connect my life to the rock? Life is a question but asking can put us back on track with Him. Then clearly I realized that God sometimes answers us in questions.

God gave me walls in my life it wouldn’t be a sustaining walls unless I connect it inextricably to Him . But then I created my own middle wall … it is there because doubt is there …animosity dwells there…stress and worries are there. I can move this middle wall and my home will still stand but how am I going to have these broken down ? I know I am not more than anyone else and that there is nothing to conceal and no middle wall can secure and fortify me. Lord let me acknowledge my humanity so that this middle wall be broken down. Make me as confident in Your power as You are in Your own. I don’t want these middle wall crash my life. I know You will never leave me inside. It has door and please help me open it up so I may be liberated from every burden, anxiety, torture that afflicts my whole being.

For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ

1 Corinthians 3:11

WHAT MELINDA MEANS TO ME

She is confident, self assured, and capable. She is not easily intimidated.
She masters any and all skills easily. She don’t have to work hard for what she wants.
She makes her life out to be exactly how she wants it. And she’ll knock down anyone who gets in her way!

She is friendly, charming, and warm. She gets along with almost everyone.
She works hard not to rock the boat. Her easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, she can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, she pulls it together.

She is relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
She’s light hearted and accepting. She doesn’t get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what her secret to life is.

She tends to be pretty tightly wound. It’s easy to get her excited… which can be a good or bad thing.

She has a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. She doesn’t stick with any one thing for very long.
She has the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Her  biggest problem is making sure she finishes the projects she starts.

She’s very intuitive and wise. She understands the world better than most people.
She also has a very active imagination. She  often gets carried away with her thoughts.
She is prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. She  sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

She is balanced, orderly, and organized. She likes her ducks in a row.
She is powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.
People can see her  as stubborn and headstrong. She definitely has a dominant personality.

She is usually the best at everything … she strives for perfection.
She is confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
She has the classic “Type A” personality.

She’s the woman . . . I love!

SET YOURSELF FREE

We’ve been hurt, somebody we counted on let us down; somebody we trusted betrayed us and our trusts; somebody took advantage of our weaknesses. The hurt went deep. There is no delete button for the past. It keeps coming back to your thoughts, like a video tape sewed in our mind every time it plays it re- runs, feeling the pain again.

We have made our hard decision. Do we want to spend the rest of our lives with pain and abuses we did not deserve in the first place? No of course! Because we have found a way to heal ourselves. It is not one way among many, it is the only way and God invented it! It did wonders for me ! I call it FORGIVING. It is the only way to be fair to ourselves. If you don’t forgive, you are giving the person who wallop you once the privilege of hurting you over and over again in your memory. Some may say, forgiving is not just fair, “why do I need to forgive  those who hurt me?” If that will be so – you will go on suffering in it, where there is such a simple remedy – forgive.

Others would even say that if you forgive you make yourself a doormat for people to walk on. . . I think this is wrong. Forgive those who wronged you, but do not tolerate their wrongdoings. Forgive those who sinned you but stop it and don’t do it again. Don’t let people who sinned you to crawl back on their knees and say they are sorry and beg you to forgive them. Don’t wait to forgive, if you do so, you may wait forever and you are stuck with pain hurting yourself forever!

Why do we have to put our future and happiness in the hands of those who hurt and abused us? If you refuse to forgive until someone begs you, you are letting this person decide for you when you may be healed of the memory and rotten things done to you! Forgiving is like a journey, it takes time. So be patient and don’t get discourage and we must all remember that the first person who gets the benefit of forgiving is always the person who does the forgiving. When you forgive, you set a prisoner FREE and then you discover that the prisoner you set free is YOU!

When we forgive we walk hand in hand with the very GOD who forgives us everything. When we forgive, we heal the hurts we never should have felt in the first place. FORGIVE THOSE WHO TRANSGRESSED ON US AND GO ON WITH OUR LIVES. . .

” If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us in our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
(1 John 1:9)

HUMILITY CAN MAKE MAN INTO ANGEL

Before anything else let me convey my apology to my grade school classmate Edwin and the rest of the people who were taken aback with my last two articles I wrote here. Although the contents of my last blog may sound too harsh and insensitive to my readers it was far way down subtle against the terms launched to me by my former workmate and I can’t just take a pew in one corner and take hold of myself. I think it is humanly and realistically predisposition to shield oneself or fight back when someone tries to threaten or disparage you. My only mistake was that I shouldn’t post it here. I have seven blogs in all I should have posted it somewhere else. But if I did that they wouldn’t know my side and judgment since I use fictitious names in my other blog sites. Pasensiya ka na Bro. . . . But it feels so nice to know that there are a lot of concerned people out there who reminds you what the best thing to do. Honestly, I just said my opinion and sometimes people are different in understanding and it is a natural reaction for someone to feedback on something she feels to be wrong. But with all uprightness my reply (to Shirley) meant not to cause slur or do I have any intention to offend or explode her feeling. I always make it a point to rather keep tacit or not jot down something to anyone because I am scared that I may utter something I will regret afterward, but sometimes you can not just stay unspoken without people knowing your thoughts because I believe there is nothing to be scared of except the constant denial to find out the truth, the continuing repudiation to probe the reasons of certain incidents. Anyways, this issue is water under the bridge. I have expressed my apology and I leave it all up to her. I consider that apology does not necessarily stands for reception of guilt or fault or admission that leads to shame, or to a feeling of worthlessness and despair but rather one of the few ways to express self-effacement. It sometimes means giving up false security or turn back arguments which will protect us when we get pushed into a corner. Apology reminds me that I am human. A real man is not found in wealth, authority, status, intellect or fame, but in his meekness. Humility can make a man into angel and creates within him a dimension for the nearest possible intimacy with God. Rest assured that I will not touch on this sort of issue again but rather hearten people through inspirational and motivating write-ups. You are absolutely right when you told me to stay on the positive plane. Sorry again to all my readers who were startled with the sudden turn of events and thanks Classmate Edwin for the aide-mémoire! God Bless you all!

He must become greater. I must become less
John 3:30

THE WORST PARADIGM

Yesterday, September 5, I read Shirley Francisco Allerup’s blog. With due regards to my former workmate, I absolutely disagree with her. Her observations and remarks may be true but does that mean that all 91 million Filipinos are like that? It is unreasonable to pigeonhole out of some slight and improbable circumstances because personally I believe that Filipinos are moral, respectable and God fearing people although there are some cases a number of Pinoys are entangled in different waywardness and illegalities because of poverty and search for the good life. As what her friend GNP mentioned in his reply our struggle for survival is the cause of all of these but nonetheless it does not make us a lesser race. I did see many times on television taxi drivers turned over millions of cash in different currencies left by foreigners inside their transport, heard stories how Filipino sailors fed and gave refuge to their own African stow-away detainees instead of tossing them out into the shark- infested sea which most white seafarers normally do. A domestic helper in Taiwan killed defending and shielding her employer against burglars who passed into their dwelling. Most of the time Filipinos too are victims of abuses by other nations. How many OFW”s languish and deteriorate in jail for crimes they did not commit? How many DH’s were raped by their employers? How many Filipinas were abused, maltreated and almost battered to death by their alien husbands and went home with shattered dreams and lives in shambles? No one is flawless, no race is impeccable not even Americans nor Europeans . . . not even one. She also mentioned our former employer’s axiom about being chagrined to be a Filipino. I am very indubitable not only her knew what type of morality and character this person has and all the cruelties and exploitations that until now this lady is perpetrating with her employees. If she is humiliated to be a Filipino it is because she doesn’t own the innate qualities, decency and ethics to be called one. “ Alam naman ng karamihan kung gaano kawalanghiya itong tao na ito, Hindi talaga dapat maging Pilipino ito!” I think Shirley really made the worst paradigm out of this person.

The problem with us is that we only find faults and tend to send to oblivion all the goodness done. It’s like staring at a huge circle sketched on the wall over looking and ignoring the tiny blotch inside it. We have so many things to be honored and delighted as far as being Filipino is concerned. We are known as affectionate, tender and devoted people. We don’t leave our parents in caregiver homes when they get feeble and seem to become appendage to us but rather we take care of them. We lavish our visitors with our warm treatment and hospitality. We always dress in smiles despite the humongous adversities in our lives. Let us not blemish our dignity but rather embolden our pride to other race. There are so many men of different nationalities who wish to seek marriage and relationship with Filipinas. Why? Because Pinays would be archetypes of a loving, compassionate and caring wife and an idyllic mother for their kids. To be mortified of one’s ethnicity is synonymous to self regret and embarrassment. Let us gaze back where we came from because in the end no matter how outlying we have gone through . . .we will find ourselves going back from where we used to be. I guess Mr. Allerup and his kids will best tell what kind of Filipino is . . .in the person of his wife. My two cents worth and God Bless you, Shirley!

“Nationality is respectable when selfishness, distrusts and conceit are all put aside for the welfare of humankind.”

GOT THE WRONG END OF THE STICK . . .

Dear Shirley,
First and foremost I am not a “slasher” and I do not have the know-how to do so neither  do I have it in my mind to be one. Perhaps you were slipshod in posting your critiques. Try to check your synopsis setting and alter it for your confidentiality. Take it easy, sorry if I spouted your bubble and I may seem as a demon advocate on your part. Honestly your blog is somewhat slapdash, sloppy and needs subtlety and well-defined amplifications. Blogging is not just all about writing, it needs brain and soul you can not just criticize somebody or hurl hurting words to express your anger and disappointments. Or cite a bad model and make it as epitome for something. Because if you do that it will be just  like what and old English idiom says ” Birds of the same feathers , flock together”. Blogging is a commitment for a specific purpose. I have explained my opinion and opinion is just an opinion you can take it or you can leave it. Sabi mo nga di ba “Therefore, I urge them to write to me instead of making it incomprehensible. Friends can have different opinions, yet still be friends. I think it is exciting, if friends have different opinions and views on things and life and still respect each other…” I think you misunderstood my blog’s header (The Worst Example) . Granting the title is deceptive, with all uprightness I am not referring to you .Please try to read carefully, coherently and logically the entirety of the typescripts before you let go off your wrath. There are some points in our articles that are both obnoxious and deplorable to both of us and I can see that we are the same type of person that will not just take what is being fed into our mouth. I will never ever touch on names and why should I? I have been writing since I was 16 and a clever and proficient writer will not dip himself into the water to let somebody swamp him. I can make use of the splendor and virtuosity of euphemism yet recognize and absorb what I am trying to point out. I don’t need to whack somebody’s door. To illuminate and inform you, before I left the company I have said every word I have to utter and swiped and clouted it right before her face. I take pride and rectitude on this because I was the only one who was able to do it. Everybody knows that they saw it! I felt a gigantic load off my chest when I did that! I won my victory. . I sued her and she paid me.  SSS/Pag-ibig contributions, 13th months pay, sick leaves, paid taxes on time and my salary what are these things? I don’t have even the slightest indebtedness to be thankful with these ridiculous stuffs you mentioned. It’s their compulsion and they have to go along with the rules as much as their employees adhere with theirs.  They paid my salary because I worked for it. Yes I worked for quite a long time  underpaid, under pressured and overworked. So you can not just say I owed something to them. I did not nourished my kids with the salary they paid me. I have freelance jobs then that sufficed my family’s needs. I stayed too long in the company because I was dreaming I was happy but that dream turned into nightmare. Sack of rice??? . . . Installment yes pero may tubo, I should have seen you vaulted and screeched for joy if she gave it to you for free as what other more considerate companies normally do. Subdivision in Antipolo? It was a plan (or should I say strategy to fool somebody) that never came true. Yes they have tried to be benevolent by at least making promises. But as this famous adage says they are just made to be broken. You are all praises, admiration, commendations, approvals, acclaims, tributes, applause, compliments, recommendations, (what else?)because when you left the company it was on the apex of its grandeur and opulence of prosperity but when it’s steeliness gradually ebb year after year blame were pin pointed to the poor employees. Degrading each one of them by name calling them as morons, idiots and bullshits.Perhaps you don’t know this because you are occupied savoring your Danish cook good life and the colleagues you left here still languishing with life’s hardship but who cares? Why not personally ask the people ( specially your friends)left in there to know the truth? HIndi man ako naging mabuting empleyado . . . taas noo kong sasabihing hindi ako naging masamang kasama sa trabaho. I did not do something that caused sorrows and miseries to others.Harking back when you were just planning to go where you are now, you would pass into my art room trying to have a peek on the encyclopedia which was on the rear of my drawing table to ferret out where Denmark is, and at times asked for my unassuming artistic flair to work on some of the papers you need and your cousin’s which was bound then for Faroe Islands. I was so euphoric then for you because I know you were setting out the right direction in quest for a better life. And now you have it and you are Shirley Allerup because of this company? I will respect you for that. But I can be what I am even if I did not have the chance to associate myself with this company. To tell you the truth my stay in that company was absolutely  waste of time and talent. You are lucky because God give you that opportunity and you acted with His will just at the right moment because if not you will meet the same fate. I admire your courage and strong will in chasing your rainbow. In fairness, honestly and without duplicity I have learned a lot from this company … yes really . . . but not until I left . . . I have learned to be humane and help the less, to stand on my principle and not just swallow what is being fed to me, I have also learned to believe in myself and the importance of my family. Most importantly I have learned to forgive and have strengthened my belief in Him. I am blogging because I want to be a paragon to my readers especially to my friends and former workmates so I may awaken them and help eradicate stumbling blocks for them to gain access in new life. I know I can not please everybody and that there will come a time somebody will get up against me. If I offended you, with all morality it wasn’t the real intention. I have moved on and never have as wonderful and contented life than I have now. Dont you worry , I don’t need to work with Bosses because I have bread and butter I call my own. PEACE!

ACCEPTING REJECTION WITH KINDNESS ( The Beginning of Renaldo Lapuz Mania )

With the last remaining money in his pocket, Renaldo Lapuz upon his friends’ urging and motivation flew from Reno, Nevada to Dallas,Texas to audition at the 7^th Season of American Idol . He was 44, and 16 years over the ceiling age limit of 28 and the contest organizers were so pleasant to let him still try it out upon knowing he had just paid a one-way ticket with his last dollar.

He knew it was like going through a pin hole to move to Hollywood because of his age but as soon as he went into the audition room attired in a dress to impress flashy silver cape, furry white embellishments, and feathery white hat that had Simon’s name printed on it he was given his moment in the glare of publicity to sing his self composed contest piece “ We’re Brothers Forever”

Simon Cowell known for his incautiously straightforward and often provocative critiques, slurs, and witticisms about contestants and their singing abilities was unimpressed at first but later on requested Renaldo to sing anew and waved his hands as fellow judges Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul and host Ryan Seacrest joined singing amusingly altogether with Renaldo on stage.

After Renaldo’s number Simon commented: “I’m going to make a prediction here. I have a horrible feeling that it’s going to be a hit record. You’re very entertaining. I actually like you but it’s going to be ‘No.’” Renaldo without second thought smiled and moved toward to Simon to shake his hand. Simon hugged him while patting his back. What can we take from here?

Some people think what Renaldo did was appalling and shameful . But few people realized what important values Renaldo have partaken to the whole world. He merely wanted to imply the lyrics of his song that we are brothers regardless of belief, race and ethnicity. When Simon eliminated him , he accepted it with grace and smile on his face and acknowledged Simon’s kindness for giving him the chance to finish his song in front of millions of people watching. He said: “ Simon, you are a great person. You give chance for people to sing for the whole world. You are Heaven’s chosen to give chance to any talent FREE OF CHARGE . Even if there are many people who throw you negative words, there are many people who like and admire you. You are a great person Simon.” Unlike other American Idol aspirants who trash talked after being rejected, Renaldo did the other way and earned the peoples’ respect and admiration. Chris Tyler said : “How you react to rejection is important. It is not the rejection of others that truly affects us, the problem occurs when… that rejection by others causes us to “reject” ourselves.” On Renaldo’s part, whole heartedly he accepted it, showed his gratitude, kindness , humility and the courage to try . . . and he smashed it big!